Well, This is Awkward
by thecakehater
Summary: If only you had listened to Blossom when she warned you about drinking enough to drown a village. "We f***ed Boomer. We f***ed like bunnies and now Boomer Jr. is coming our way."


**Well, This is Awkward**

**Or**

**We Fucked, So Yeah We Are Having A Baby.**

* * *

No, you must be hallucinating. Yes, that would make more sense than this—this _thing_ in front of you. Yep, this is definitely a hallucination.

It's a bit bizarre to have visions of your ever platonic friend naked on your bed at twelve-fifteen in the afternoon. Perhaps you're still drunk from all that beer you've been gulping all night.

Gosh, if only you had listened to Blossom when she warned you about drinking enough to drown a village. Oh, how you hate hang-overs.

"I'm never drinking again," you grunted as you rolled out of the bed.

You rub your eyes as an attempt to disperse the weird hallucination of Boomer so you can get on with your life.

Now fully awake, you realize…

_Oh shit._

You're hyperventilating on the inside and the fact that your outside appearance is gaping like a freaking tuna fish does not help your situation.

He's naked.

Naked.

A fucking naked Boomer is in your fucking bed.

You looked down only to see that you're as naked as you has he is.

_Fuck. Fuckity-fuck-fuck!_

This cannot be happening!

He fell out of your bed by your glass breaking shriek.

With wide eyes, the two of you studied each other's appearances.

"Fuck."

Fuck, indeed.

* * *

The two of you decided to forget that something happened between the two of you.

Really nothing happened. Nope. None at all.

It was drunken sex. And drunk sex never really mattered that much in this decade. No one give a fuck, and so should you. Besides you have to help Bubbles with her wedding, you being her sister-slash-bridesmaid and all.

Gosh, can't this girl pick something already? She's been fitting in and out of wedding dresses all day can she just pick one so they can move on to the cake tasting? Ugh.

* * *

Bubbles had been nothing but a pain. Equivalently painful as her counterpart. Ugh, why can't they marry and have a baby instead?

"So what do you think lilies or roses?"

Do you look like you care?

Just pick a damn flower already!

You glance over Blossom and Robin's direction.

"—gosh I hate that when that happens!" exclaimed your sister.

"I know right? I mean don't get me wrong I love being a woman. I am a feminist through and through but ugh…"

"Yeah feminity all the way but we could do without menstrual problems."

_Menstrual problems._

_Menstrual._

That was the moment you realized something. Your hearts rouse once you heard the word.

You've never skipped a month before. Never.

* * *

You could feel your stomach drop as you glanced down at the malicious thing in your hand.

No. No. No. NOOOOOOO!

Two red lines.

Two fucking red lines.

Creating a positive sign.

It stared at you as if snickering at your misery.

This had to be a mistake. It had to be.

No fucking way are you having a baby!

Fuck, how are you supposed to tell this to Boomer?

* * *

You always knew he was a wimp. The wimpiest Ruff out of the three of them. But you never thought he was such a pussy.

Even Mike would let you finish before fainting.

Rolling your neon green eyes, you kicked him awake. And when that didn't work…

"Ouch!" he yelped in pain. "Was zapping me really necessary?"

You just glared at him. It was enough to get your message.

_Don't fuck with me or else._

"Um…" he gulped audibly. "Y-you- I-I mean…w-we're…"

"Yeah we are having a baby."

"H-how?"

"I always knew you were stupid, but really Boomer? Do I have to talk about Bees and Flowers to you?"

"W-we—"

"We fucked Boomer. We fucked like bunnies and now Boomer Jr. Coming our way."

"Shit," he uttered before fainting again.

You couldn't agree more.

* * *

Well, that went well.

But then again, you can't really say you didn't expect that to happen.

Fucking Wimp.

You rolled your eyes before leaving him lying on the stone cold floor.

Of all people she could have a baby after a night of drunken sex with, it just had to be him.

* * *

"So…will you…um, *cough* a-are y-you—

"Will I be keeping it?" You finished for him.

Typical. Of course he'd expect you to murder a freaking baby. Fucking bastard.

Bastard.

Great, knowing this idiot her child would be one.

"Yeah, that…"

He looks uncomfortable while you look, well, uncomfortably pissed-off.

"Why are you here Boomer?" You ask slightly annoyed.

He doesn't answer, just looked down on his food.

"Well, if that's all then I should get back to work," you stood up and started to walk away.

But he stopped you. His hands are cold and sweaty, an indication that he's nervous. You turned to look at him to confirm it.

"Whatever your decision is, I'll support you BC, I'll be right there with you."

Your heart tightens at the sincerity. His words were enough to bring a smile on your face.

"Thank you."


End file.
